Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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