Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm having to shit out rocks
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize