How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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