He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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