Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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