i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
