She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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