You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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