If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
