he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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