When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
