I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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