in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
