So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
