Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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