He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
