It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
