You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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