If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
