I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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