CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
