I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hippo gnu deer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
