i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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