it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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