you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
