..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize