Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize