If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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