the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
