I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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