I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
