We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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