I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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