Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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