i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
