got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize