Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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