She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
