Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
