cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
