All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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