He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I forgot how hot balto sounded
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Congratulations! We have a period
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
