I must be too annoying 4 u.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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