he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
