We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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