Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize