Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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