I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
