can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
