There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
