Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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