that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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