Screwed.edu
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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