Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Let the clothes fall where they may.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
