marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
