he told me I talked like a deaf person
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
