I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
