my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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