didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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