Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
