Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
