Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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