Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
