xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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