After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i believe in u and ur pee
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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