ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
