So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
