At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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