I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
